Learning to Wait the Right Way

I guess some may disagree with me and my version of "right" after reading this post, but truth be told I wasn't really asking for approval. So there. Now that we've got that out of the way, I will explain.

I have always been a worrier. Ever since I can remember. I worried about where my little brother, Jason, was at all times. I remember not wanting him out of my sight for fear that something bad would happen to him because you know my almost 3 year older self could protect him from all bad the world could bring. I remember worrying about the weather because every dark cloud would surely turn into a tornado the likes that would scare Dorothy right on to Oz. I worried over grades, then boys, then pretty much everything I could find. I wasn't patient about waiting - it was merely one more thing to worry about at the end of the day.

I met a boy who was more than perfect for me. He was all the things I had ever wanted in a boy/man, and I worried that I would find the "fatal flaw." Or that he would find that flaw in me. Then, we married and moved away. I worried about jobs, making friends, anything... It was always in the waiting that made me the most worried. I'm a planner by nature, and I like to have the next step laid out. When I can't do that, I worry. And then came my own children. Well, worry became HUGE. What if they didn't hit said milestone on time? What if they didn't like school? Would they be nice to others? And that was just in the first 2 weeks of life - haha.

Thankfully, God brought us to Savannah. I got plugged in with a group of friends here that I will be forever thankful for meeting. Some of those friends introduced me to BSF where I really got to know Jesus. The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ." The Bible also tells us to bring our burdens to Jesus and He will give us rest, and it reminds us to cast our anxiety onto the Lord because He cares for us.

When we first decided to venture down this path to adoption, I was worried and anxious about all aspects of this process, but I was was also confident we were being called to follow through. Somewhere along the way, I gave up the anxiety that would have consumed me before. I have asked for clarity and wisdom in decision making through this process. I have asked for red flags to be presented to avoid getting ahead of God, and boy have those shown up a few times. When I have been a little overwhelmed, I have gotten a dose of assurance that we will be okay. Instead of being worried, I've been able to rest in God's grace. I'm learning to wait the right way. What I've seen in the last year is that any time I jump ahead and try to forge my own way, I stress myself out and worry. When I prayerfully let God lead, I can rest comfortably in knowing that He is guiding our steps. I fail. He will not.

We attended an adoption mixer about one month ago. One young lady that was coming was a girl we had heard about at our first training. I saw Jason (husband, not brother) talking to her, and I walked over to say hello. I was quickly called away because it was my turn to bowl again. I found her again later and chatted for a while, talked to her case worker, and honestly was sure that we had only annoyed her. I got a call on Monday after the Saturday mixer that she thought we were really nice. Imagine that! We had dinner with her last week, and this week we will meet with DFACS to ask any additional questions. After that step, we will be allowed to begin visits. Hopefully, this Saturday will be the first visit to our home!

Many of you guys have asked where we were in the process, and honestly we have been waiting. Waiting on paperwork, waiting on meeting kids, waiting to read the child life history that didn't scare our socks off - just waiting. But instead of waiting anxiously or worriedly, I can now wait confidently knowing that God wouldn't bring us this far to desert us. He is with us the waiting, ready to calm our fears, allowing us to trust in His goodness, and take our burdens. Hopefully, soon we will have great news. But until then, we trust that His plans are good ones, even if we don't know how they turn out just yet. Thanks for all the prayers - keep 'em coming.