Just Barely Hanging On

Whew! I could insert some 4 letter words in here that would also help sum up the last 2 weeks. Wowsers - I have seriously questioned our decision to have children this close together. Now, with that said, I wouldn't trade a thing and today has been a wonderful day compared to several others...

The first day home without Jason, I felt like Wonder Woman :) I managed to keep everyone fed, happy, and in one piece without breaking down myself. The next day, however, we quickly spiraled downward. Jake woke up so far on the wrong side of the crib after his nap he might have been in a different zip code. Jason had charts to finish after his shift ended, but I called him in tears to tell him our oldest might not survive if he didn't come home. I think even my ever-patient husband had had his fill of our normally sweet boy by the time he put him to bed. Jealously has reared its ugly head multiple times, and I have to remind myself constantly that he doesn't understand how to vocalize how he is feeling. I try to take deep breaths and use my calm voice, but I will admit, there are times that I have broken down and cried louder than he has - on more than one occasion. For instance, yesterday I was making dinner. Things were going really well even though Jake had pulled out every plastic bag in the cabinet and had them strewn all over the kitchen. Then all Hell broke loose. Connor started crying, Jake started running around and screaming at the top of his lungs, I sliced my finger cutting chicken, and dinner was nowhere near ready to cook. Where is that Calgon lady when you need her??? By the time Jake was put to bed, I was very tightly gripping the neck to my first beer since having Connor.

Connor and I get up with the chickens after 6 and get our day started with a shower for me, bath for him and then we get fed before the Jakeman gets up - or at least that is the plan. If I manage to accomplish this task, I feel great because it means that our day will start better if I can give Jake all my attention when he gets up. Then after he goes to bed for the night, Connor usually nurses then conks out HARD for several hours until we go to bed. That gives me a few blessed hours of silence in my house. This is definitely an adjustment, and I hope that we get into a groove soon.

On another note, I started back on Weight Watchers. Holy cow, you get so many points if you are breastfeeding that I will never manage to eat all my points! I have managed to cook Crock Pot Chicken Santa Fe that we made into burritos, Asian Turkey Meatballs with brown rice, and a Light Cajun Chicken Pasta. All the recipes came from Skinnytaste.com. The link can be found on the side of the blog. I love this site, and there are some great recipes. They don't taste like "diet food" at all. Hopefully, on Sunday (my weigh day) we will see some results from this week's work. I will be reporting my progress - or lack thereof.

Jake and I ate the Cajun Chicken Pasta for dinner tonight. He LOVED the noodles. He giggled so hard watching me slurp noodles. Yes, yes, I know - not the best table manners, but he was happy and giggling and so was I. We have a whole lifetime to learn not to slurp noodles. He tried to do it and the poor boy just didn't get the concept but managed to shove his noodle and pretty much his whole fist into his mouth. We both ended up with noodles everywhere. He was my happy, sweet boy again, and I could not have been happier to be hanging out with him. These are the times when I don't question our decision to have our babies so close together - although I am sure that number 3 can wait just a little while :)