A Dose of Perspective and Resolutions

Well, our New Year's Eve and Day have been pretty uneventful thus far. Jake and I spent the day hanging out at home yesterday and are repeating the process today as Jason works. Last New Year's Eve, I spent the evening in the laundry room floor with Jake, Peanut, and Lucy as we waited on a tornado to bypass us. Janet Kelton and I texted pictures of ourselves and our crews to each other and our husbands (who were together having a drink) to pass the time. What a change a year has brought! We are here in beautiful Savannah, GA settling into life after residency. Jason just remarked this morning that this was another big year for us. And it will be. Baby #2 (who I think has a name as of last night) will be born here in a bit, we will (hopefully soon) find a house to buy, and we will be making the adjustment to life as a family of four. Crazy!!!!

Jake has been super cranky with the appearance of the bottom molars. Ugh!! I have had friends warn me about these suckers for a while now, and they are no joke. I had no idea that the top ones had come in until he threw his head back and laughed. I spotted 2 little while things on each side, and sure enough - they were teeth. The only indication that they were there was a runny nose (which I had attributed to being around other kids) and the lack of an appetite (which I thought was just a tantrum kinda thing). Oh, well...now I know. However, the bottom molars have been accompanied by fever, screaming fits, and just downright awful baby syndrome. I feel bad saying that because you know that the little man doesn't feel well, but OMG!!!! There have been times in the last few days I don't know who has cried more - me or Jake. My nerves are shot from dealing with these teeth. Jason was up most of the night with him the other night, and when we got up the next morning, we were both exhausted from lack of sleep. I reminded him that life would be like this most of the time here in a month or two - oh, the joys... Jason says that our sweet child has been possessed by the "Tooth Demon", and I am happy to report that as of today, it seems to have been exorcised. The other night was particularly bad, and as I got out of bed (not happily, mind you) for the second time, I had a healthy dose of perspective. For some reason, as my child was screaming his head off I thought of a family that had lost their child this past year. And in that moment, I knew without a doubt that they would trade places with me in a minute. It was a sobering thought. And with that, I went into Jake's room, scooped him up, and held him tightly. I have tried to remind myself of this over the past few days when he has been particularly difficult and just be thankful he is happy and healthy aside from the Tooth Demon.

I haven't thought about resolutions too terribly much. I want to be a better wife and mother. That's a wide scope of things that involves more patience (and sanity), as well as just embracing all the little joys life gives us. When the new baby comes, of course, at the top of the list for personal goals is to lose the baby weight plus some. I want to find a group of friends here in Savannah that know that there is life outside of being a mom - even though that is at the top of my priority list. I want to take pictures for people and be good at doing it. That last one scares me. I want to erase it now, but I am preventing myself from hitting the backspace key or delete button. It is the fear of failure that scares me. Wish me luck in all the resolutions/personal goals. I am sure I could think of deeper resolutions, but like I said, I try not to ponder for days over these things.

What I do want to do is always be honest in writing this blog. Not everything I put out there is happy, flowers out my backside kind of reading. And that's okay. If you are the type of person who is like that all the time, then A) you are lying and B) you annoy the Hell out of me. Sometimes, I just need to vent to no one in particular, and this just happens to be a medium for relieving such frustrations. I have had so many people comment to me whether on here or in conversations about being glad to know that they are not the only ones feeling a certain way. So, the angry posts will continue, along with the more general, flowery ones thrown in for good measure:)

I hope that everyone has had a wonderful New Year, no matter how you rang it in. Whether you were partying it up or staring at the backs of your eyeballs (as I was), I hope that it was fun. The black-eyed peas and collard greens are cooking as I type, and the cornbread shall follow. But for now, there are clothes to wash, dishes to put away, and other housewiferly -sue me, I make up words- duties to be done while the Jakeman naps.