When I Grow Up...

Growing up, I had no idea what I wanted to do as a career. I remember it changed frequently. In high school, I discovered art in Jack Delaney's class as a senior. I LOVED art class, really loved it. I loved pencil drawings and charcoal and oil paintings (hated watercolor, but that's another matter entirely) Anyway, the more I thought about what I wanted to do with my life, the more anxious I became. What I wanted to do/thought would be cool to do was move far away live in fantastic city like New York living on a menial income and spending time exploring and drawing. That was the dreamer in me. However, the realist wanted to know who was going to pay the bills. At some point, I decided that nursing was an appropriate field of study. Looking back, I have absolutely no idea what led me to that conclusion. For me, nursing seemed like a choice that made sense because I could finish school relatively quickly and make a decent living. It was all about providing a sense of stability for myself. I never wanted to rely on anyone else because I had no other choice or because I had made poor choices. So, out the window went ideas of waiting tables in New York and hello nursing school.

I quickly found out that I had one love when it came to nursing, and that love was mother/baby and nursery. I hated sick patients. I remember vividly in nursing school doing my practicum in the CCU and being deathly afraid of the sick patients because I just knew I would make a mistake and someone would die. I worked for nine and a half years in the Family Birth Center at the Medical Center in Macon, GA, and even though I whined at times, I loved it. Some of the best women I know work there :) Anyway, I digress...Since moving to MS, I worked as a school nurse briefly and as an adjunct teacher at one of the local trade colleges. Since being pregnant with Jake, I have had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom which has always been a dream of mine. 

Lately, I have become really interested in photography. I want to be good at it - really good. It's like now I finally have the opportunity to explore the artsy, more creative side that has been buried for so long. I stalk photography blogs and read about apeture and depth of field for pleasure. Half the time, I have no idea what I just read, but I want to know. Suddenly, I want to dig out the No. 1 pencils and charcoals from underneath the guest bed. The dreamer in me used to say that it didn't matter how much money you made as long as you were happy doing it, but the realist knew that if the bills didn't get paid that I wasn't going to be happy! So, all in all, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but maybe - just maybe, I can do it all and be happy doing it, whatever it may be.
  

 *The picture above is of my former neighbor's daughter, and I just love it. Maybe one day I can figure out how to do this for a living. Until then, I will continue to play with my camera and borrow other people's children (and mine) to capture on camera