Don't Use the Chapstick

Ever had one of those days when you feel like you've conquered the world? Nah, me either :) For me these days I feel like a winner when dinner is over, kids are bathed and in bed, and I can sit and breathe for a minute. And get sucked into doing productive things like pinning recipes I don't have time most days to try, Facebooking for an hour, or doing exactly what I am doing right now - blogging - ha!

I was talking with a friend the other day about going out with only two of my children versus all three, and she (who is also a mom of 3) agreed that it was a glorious occasion. One kid? Fuhgiddaboutit. Piece. Of. Cake. I wondered aloud that if we would think it was glorious to leave the house with only 3 children if we were moms of 4, and we both came to the conclusion that, indeed, it would. It is totally relative. And, for the record, I'm not talking about a trip to the park where they are all running around anyway. I mean somewhere like - I shudder to think - the grocery store. Let me set the scene. The other day, I had to pick up something from the grocery store for dinner. Sooo...after naps (which only one of my children now takes - whole other story) we ventured to Publix. Now, Publix is a big dang deal because it just opened on the island. Publix has the cute car carts for the kids - which hold two children. I-have-three. I'm sorry, but someone has to use those two little legs that never otherwise want to sit. Connor, who will proudly tell you he's still two, volunteered to walk. Tucker was steering the wheel like a Nascar driver, Jake was pretending to blow the horn, and Connor trudged along behind touching every single thing in sight. Two aisles in, I wanted to cry. I had told Jake to ignore Tucker touching his horn about 20 times, I had moved Tucker over back to his side at least that many times, and I had told Connor to stop touching things and watch where he was going - infinity. I feared walking too closely to the wine section in case those twist off tops became too hard to resist. Now, give me only two of the children and it's like a Disney movie where the birds are singing and the Oscar winning song is playing.

Boys equal noise. This house is always noisy. I know that one day I will miss the noise - of this I am certain. Right now, the hum of the computer sounds divine. Someone is always crying. If you have tried to talk to me in the last, oh say 4 years, you would know I speak the truth. Whether it's the tower someone else knocked over, someone flushed to toilet first, or a true injury someone is almost always crying or arguing over something. We have also now entered the days of poo talk. I had received one of those update emails about what is normal for your child. It detailed this behavior about how the kids use potty words and think it's funny. "Whew! At least that's not happening" thought naïve little me. Kid you not, several day later, I hear Jake tell Connor something about being a poop head. We've had the "we don't say that, it's not nice" talk a million times. Doesn't work - just so ya know. If anyone has any magic cures, pass them my way. I'm sure it will pass, so I really try not to focus on it too much other than to remind them it isn't nice.

Tonight, at dinner they started talking about chapped lips. Jake said he needed Chapstick, and Connor told him to put some on his nose. They giggled and started a whole conversation between the two of them about where Chapstick doesn't go. It ended with Jake saying, "Chapstick doesn't go on your penis." Indeed, son, it does not. I'm glad we cleared that up.

Having said all that, little boys are the absolute best. They do love their mama something fierce. They fight often, but I secretly love the little squabbles over who gets to sit with Mommy. They often run in with some weed that has a flower for me or draw me a pretty picture (they always make me skinny). Tonight, they ran back in after their Daddy gave them a bath to give me "one more hug and kiss". Even with all the noise, I think I'll keep 'em. Now, excuse me while I go saw off the end of my Chapstick - just in case.