Lowe Profile: Life with Three

I was awakened on New Year's morning with some contractions. They continued to get stronger. After getting everyone situated here at home, we headed to the hospital, and a few hours later we welcomed our little man into the world. And we have been on the "welcome to the world of 3 children" whirlwind ever since. It has been interesting to say the least and filled with so many emotions.

The first of those is love. Love for this new little person you have carried around inside you for the last 39 weeks. Love for my sweet big boys as they welcome this new little person into the family without the slightest amount of jealousy. Love for my sweet husband who has been so patient and wonderful in taking care of the boys and me. Love for the wonderful ladies from our church who spent time preparing meals every single night for 3 weeks so that this tired Mama didn't have to cook. Love for the memories that come with taking out each little outfit or onesie and remembering how it fit each of the other two boys who now seem impossibly big.

Exhaustion really isn't an emotion, but it is a state of being that comes along with being a mother to a newborn. It can be so mind numbing at times that every cry, every question from the big boys, every whine sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard. All you want to do is sleep without having to hold a baby or listen for the sounds of a monitor, but at the same time you are so grateful to not be pregnant and uncomfortable the exhaustion is oddly welcoming.

Then there is the guilt. I didn't really expect this one. Guilt for not having a free hand to help build a tower of Legos. Guilt for having to leave the room to breastfeed instead of reading that extra story at bedtime. Then there is the guilt of having to lie a crying baby down to go build that tower or read that story. Guilt because the TV gets turned on more than I would like to admit to keep the boys corralled so that I can feed the baby without worrying that someone is getting mauled in the playroom. Guilt because the hubs has to spend a ton of time taking care of the big boys and not much time hanging out with the new baby. Guilt because I totally fell asleep (like mouth open, snoring sleep) instead of actually getting to hang out with the hubby the other night. I think the feeling of guilt surprised me the most because I don't like the feeling of not being able to get things done. I didn't expect to feel guilty, but I don't think anyone ever really does.

I have heard and read studies that say that the transition from 2 to 3 children is the most stressful one. I think those studies are on to something. I thought that adding a second child was a pretty easy transition. Going from 1 to 2 kids was easier than going from no children to one. Three is hard. If both parents are home, you are outnumbered by kids. If you are home alone with 3, you only have 2 arms. And I seem to have had a third kiddo that prefers to be held by his Mama over anything in the world. Let's just say he doesn't take very well to being put down. And while I love to snuggle, the big boys do need some attention every now and then :)

With all the craziness of the last 5 weeks, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I have healthy, happy kiddos, and I get reminded of this every time I log onto Facebook only to see updates about children who sick or parents who are coping with the loss of a child. It serves as a reminder to take a deep breath, perhaps be a little more forgiving of myself and these little people, and embrace the chaos. Even though right now seems overwhelming, I do know that one day before I care to think about, I will long for the time when sword toting little pirates/knights/firemen ran yelling through the house.

Of course, no post is complete without some pictures, so here we go: